I love bears.

So did you hear about Gu Gu the killer panda?  So apparently there's this panda in China that's "attacked" 3 different people now.  I put "attack" in quotations because on each occasion, it was a human who who either fallen or jumped INTO THE PANDA PIT.

1) How on earth do you fall into a panda pit?  I've been to the zoo...  there are walls and trenches and barbed wire and people in red & yellow shirts saying "Sir she can't stand up on that railing" and all sorts of security measures.  The guy in the article above said that he was playing catch with a toy panda (YES!) outside the cage with his kid, no doubt uttering anti-panda slurs as well.  The toy fell in the pit, and the guy either "lost his balance" over the 5-foot high barrier (riiiiiiiight...), or jumped in the pit to retrieve said panda.  Whoops, wrong panda buddy.  Dude got mauled.

"Ay buddy...  this the panda yous lookin' for?"

So my question is:  HOW IS THIS NEWS?  Someone jumps into a bear pit and we're supposed to be surprised that they got bit?  I can't stand the American media.

2) The zoo authorities were reportedly discussing how they could increase security at the panda exhibit so that people wouldn't be so tempted to jump in.  WHAT, YOU MEAN BESIDES FILLING THE PIT WITH BEARS?!?  Seriously, if a flock of 600-lb omnivores patrolling the perimeter doesn't keep people out, I don't really know what will.  Sharks maybe?

3) One of the previous maulings was reported to have occurred when an inebriated tourist "jumped over the railing because he wanted to cuddle with the panda."

I don't even have anything to say about that.

4) Yes I do...  I LOVE BEARS.  They are awesome and probably the perfect animal.  They can hunt caribou, survive on berries, climb trees, fish, swim, and have enough good sense to tear apart the knuckleheads that dare to enter their lair.  I think I will make a donation to the World Wildlife Fund on Gu Gu's behalf today, dedicated to "the pit jumpers".  Keep up the good work, pandas!