There have been a ton of rumors that they'll "inject you with anesthetic venom while you sleep and knaw off hunks of skin" and "they can run 30mph and they eat camels" -- not true. But apparently they are SUPER aggressive and will attack anything that irritates them, and they can run about 10mph (which is still pretty dang fast for a bug). After looking at that picture, I don't need a whole lot more information to determine that I hate those things. And here's the part that has me freaked:
I'm told that the marines from Camp Pendleton have been trapping them overseas and bringing them home to the U.S. as pets, and now a bunch have escaped and are populating the wilderness surrounding the base. WHICH IS ABOUT 5 MILES FROM MY HOUSE. This is totally just a rumor at this point, but the person who told me swore that he knew someone on the base who had confirmed that it was true. I know a couple of marines so I'm going to try to find out if this is real, but 2 things if it is:
1) I will probably vote Democrat for the rest of my life in an effort to dissolve our military. I'll learn Chinese, I don't care... it would be better than dealing with new dragon-spider species being brought home by America's Finest.
2) I'm most likely going to move to the east coast. Of Greenland.
If you don't want to sleep well for a while, check out CamelSpiders.net.
5 comments:
So what you're saying is, when I find one in my garden, I'm on my own in disposing of it, aren't I?
-THE WIFE
Ok-- I dont really know what to say right now. Under normal circumsyances, I'd just blow it off and chock it up to you trying to freak me out with something half true. But this is the scary part-- I totally sense the "freak-out" in your voice, and I'm sure this is 100% true.
So now I'M freaked out. This just can't be. Where can we go to hide?
I don't know that I can run 10 mph.
I'm currently trying to figure out if there's a way to get to another planet as a way to get futher away from these things. El Salvador might work for a little while... but seeing as we're connected by land, it would probably only be a temporary solution. I'm not even trusting Antarctica at this point -- we probably have a Marine base down there or something. Geesh,...
And yes, THE WIFE will be disposing of her own camel spiders. Right after I show them my WD40-flamethrower.
Hey, I know this isn't the point, but you say learning Chinese like it's a bad thing. I'm just saying.
I bet Chinese people would totally eat those things, btw. With some bok choy.
NEE-HOW!
I'm all for learning the language of whoever it looks like is going to rule the world within the next 20 years. (I guess taking 4 years of French in high school was pretty pointless.) You forget that I'm already fluent in medical Chinese from our last trip -- "TONG??" (DOES IT HURT HERE??) I just need to polish up my conversational chinese at this point... like saying "goodbye" and numbers past 2.
I'm pretty sure I had some bok choy for dinner tonight. It was green anyway...
SHAY-SHAY!
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