No mas Cheetos!!!

I was asked to give an opinion regarding a chubby little 6yo hispanic kid with a rash at work the other day... nothing major, just a little skin allergy. I told the mother as much, and she expressed her satisfaction with my answer. Then she uttered those horrible words, "Can I ask you real quick about something else that's unrelated?"

It's never quick, and it's always very unrelated. But I digress.

"Can you tell him not to eat so much Cheetos?" she asked. This 6yo kid is sitting there, probably 60# overweight (and smelling like a Cheeto, although I may have been imagining that) looking at me kind of ashamed. I think his fingers had an orange tint to them.

"I'm sorry? What??"

"I need you to tell him not to eat so much Cheetos. He eats too much and he's too fat." Side note: if you divided mom into 2 equal portions, she was still not a slender gal. Again, I digress.

"You know, the last time I checked... 6 year olds aren't going out to the store and buying Cheetos with their paychecks. You need to stop buying them for him.

"But he cries."

"Come again??"

"He cries if I don't give him Cheetos."

I couldn't decide who I was more disappointed with, so I let them both have it:

(to the kid) "STOP EATING CHEETOS, AND STOP CRYING WHEN YOU DON'T GET THEM. EAT AN APPLE INSTEAD." (turning to mom) "AND STOP BUYING HIM CHEETOS!! HE'S GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK BY THE TIME HE STARTS JUNIOR HIGH. GIVE HIM SOMETHING HEALTHY, AND SEND HIM OUTSIDE TO PLAY IF HE CRIES."

I know that may come across as a little callous, but I found that to be a really grossly negligent display of poor parenting. Having no kids of my own, I'm sure it's harder than I realize. But you know what? No matter how hard it is, my kids won't be getting Cheetos if they cry. They will get a piece of fruit, and it will be thrown at them.